[At the time of this writing, my father had been accepted into the Air Corps and had subsequently qualified (at his previous Jefferson Barracks, Missouri post), for Aviation Cadet training. He had been sent to Carbondale, Illinois in mid-February 1944 for four months of academic instruction at Southern Illinois Normal University (SINU). The five-day-per-week instruction covered physics, math, English, geography and history, and was supplemented with physical training, drill and cross-country running.
My father was thrilled to have made it into the Air Corps, and also happy to find himself in the familiar routine of attending college-level classes at SINU. As this entry illustrates, however, he was less than impressed with the academic habits of his fellow trainees. He also bemoans the absence of any guiding philosophy or ideology motivating his peers. It’s interesting — and telling — that he suggests his own differences in these regards made him “the world’s worst soldier.” His description of the inability of the trainees to engage in meaningful discussions — “All that mattered was that each one should fire his salvo, and then retire only long enough to reload” — seems depressingly familiar to anyone who follows present-day political discourse, especially as practiced by the gun-enamored zealots of the far right.]
March 26, 1944 (Carbondale, Ill.)
I am the world’s worst soldier. Now that may be a slight exaggeration, but it’s intended only to give force to the basic truth of the statement, that as a soldier, I stink. Of discipline I approve, but not the military kind, applied from outside with loud-mouthed threats. I want a discipline that stands stiff inside me, like my bones, and which can no more be shed than these.
I say that most of the boys here in the CTD [College Training Detachment] are not disciplined, and, on the contrary, many of them are very loose and lax. It’s in the classrooms that their inability to achieve a harmonious compromise between themselves and the group of which they are part is most clearly revealed. They are high school playboys, for all their uniforms, only semi-civilized, and with token educations. A sentimentalist might see in them a native American “culture,” but to me it looks like a compound of ignorance and egocentricity, which two terms may be considered in large part synonymous.
They breeze into the classroom, and either prostrate themselves in their chairs or crowd to the windows. There is no order, no restraint. They cudgel each other with various gleaming excerpts from their personal lives. The room is alive with noise.
When a teacher enters, one or more of them trumpets “Attention!” and the mass rises for a moment to various approximations of that attitude. But it is a empty gesture, a simple conditional reflex without meaning. No order results. The quack of voices fills the room again almost before the echoes are silent. The boys give no respect to the teacher, and this is not an affront from them, but an evidence of their lack of understanding of their civilized positions in that gathering. The jungle law prevails, – every man for himself.
Order, when it is achieved, is an accident, not a cooperative accomplishment in which anyone can have confidence. It is at the mercy of the first boy who receives an impulse to snap his trigger tongue. It means nothing that the teacher may be in the midst of his exposition. Joe suddenly sees the light, and he must immediately deliver himself of it. Often the appeals of the teacher for order and silence have little effect, and never a permanent effect.
Cruelty is inherent in their egocentric attitude. There is little conception of the effect their remarks may have on other people. The first day that a woman teacher took over Mr. Cox’s geography class, many of the boys made insulting or unkind remarks about the old man, who was very probably a personal friend of our present teacher. They didn’t have the sense even to be quiet after her first defense of him, but hooted her words and launched back to the attack.
Discussion is impossible. Several times we attempted it in Dr. Barnes’ history class. Practically no one was allowed to complete a statement of his particular opinion, not even Dr. Barnes. He was, in fact, interrupted so persistently that he often had to give up. The boys were of no mind to give fair hearing to each other’s opinions, and to allow their own to be modified. All that mattered was that each one should fire his salvo, and then retire only long enough to reload. The general ignorance of any philosophy or philosophical method was pathetic. The attitude towards learning was that its value depended upon its date, with anything earlier than the twentieth century of no value at all. History they viewed as a partitioning of centuries behind closed doors, and what use to open the doors?
Their civilization deficiency shows plainest in their attitude towards examinations. We here in the CTD are supposedly living under a system of Cadet Honor. This idea is openly raped at every examination. I’ve been surprised even by fellows to whom I’d attributed some measure of maturity. Their cheating is not on the sly among themselves, but a frankly-undertaken group enterprise. Honor is to them a word, not a discipline; they are enough aware of their deficiency to use the word with open cynicism.
They are equally cynical of many other words, such as patriotism, freedom, democracy, and the like. This is because they have never thought their way through to the rules of life of which these words are simply the shorthand symbols. Their response to orders has no higher motivation than fear. They defy orders whenever they think they can get away with it.
These boys are not ideological soldiers. Since they have no ideas, how can they be expected to fight for ideas. Though the Army may be doing some good with its indoctrination program, the main emphasis is still on glory, – pride in the unit, ribbons, medals, citations, advancements in rank.
I’m writing only about what I see and hear, and it may be that I see only the surface, and hear only the immaterial. My generalizations about the American Army as a whole are guesswork, and I’m not making any predictions on my personal conclusions. But I’ll ask a question. If most of the boys come back from the wars without definite ideas about why they’ve been fighting and what they’ve won, why, then, will they have been fighting, and what will they have won? Will the answers be provided by act of Congress, or presidential declaration? Is [there] any wall against cynicism, despair, and general emotional instability, except an integrated philosophy of life, both personal and social?
Read Full Post »